Mother's Day Again

The sting of your death lightens and fades as time goes on, it seems like I no longer wince as hard because it’s not right behind me anymore.  It’s farther away, less aggressive.

The more relevant pain is more of a dull ache. A longing.  A wishing you were still here and healthy.  Things would be so interesting and different.

I already know you love this baby from your star house in heaven, but you would be having so much fun with her here.  She’s got this big giant personality and you two would be two peas in a pod.  I need to remember to show her more pictures of you.

Mother’s day is right around the corner and I can’t keep out of my mind the great influence you had on me as a mother figure.  Going through my stuff stored in dads basement last night was a trip down memory lane… the cute purse you got me for Christmas one year even though when I saw it in the mall I made fun of it.  That was a big lesson for me, in humility and open-mindedness.  You taught me that it’s important to be kind in any situation, because you never know if someone’s sensitivities are in play.  I ended up loving that purse dearly.

You challenged me to enjoy your spontaneous but calculated nature.  You encouraged me to revel in the blessings we’re given and not squander moments by worrying too much.  I have to concentrate hard to remember these lessons.  You made it look so effortless, I miss that.

I miss lots of things about you, but I’m glad we had you while we did.  We all miss you so much and wish you were still here and healthy, but we’re glad you’re watching over us.  Happy Mother’s Day.